Last week I went to see “Megalopolis”, the latest (and last?) film by Francis Ford Coppola. In the past, a Coppola production was usually something to relish, and I was looking forward to this addition to his canon of work. I purposely avoided reading any reviews beforehand; I was aware that this movie had endured a long gestation, and had experienced a number of challenges during production, so I did not want to arrive with any preconceived ideas. I wasn’t even aware of the plot or the cast.

Oh dear – what a disappointment. For something that was 40 years in development, and reportedly cost $120 million of the director’s own money, it was one of the worst films I have seen in a long while. No wonder it has attracted a very small audience, judging by the box office receipts. At the screening I attended, there were only 4 people in the entire cinema.

Despite the promising plot, the stellar cast, and the director’s own distinguished career, nothing can rescue this dog’s dinner of a film. It’s so bad on so many levels. First, the use of a voice-over to explain the plot is often a dodgy narrative device – especially as the narrator in this case is neither the main protagonist, nor an impartial observer. Second, the script and much of the acting is painfully bad – plodding, hackneyed, derisory, derivative and at times just plain over-wrought. Third, the set design looks cramped and feels claustrophobic. Many of the costumes are straight out of a Christmas pantomime, giving rise to an unintended comic effect. And as for the CGI images of the future city, it’s as if the design team simply gave Dall-E a few prompts and rendered the results on screen wholesale, without any editing or quality control.

At times, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be watching a Batman movie directed by Baz Luhrmann, or Christopher Nolan’s take on “Julius Caesar”.

I think part of the problem is that the characters and events that the film attempts to satirise are actually beyond parody. They are soft, obvious targets; and no matter how outrageous the story line, it can never out-do real life, or upstage current affairs. No doubt, the timing of its release is designed to raise questions about current social and political events, in the USA and elsewhere. Venal, vindictive, incompetent and impotent politicians; tech billionaires and media moguls who think they can determine election results; nepo babies who think they are talented just because of their family connections; social media influencers driven by a sense of their own entitlement and self-importance.

But it’s all been done before, and in many cases, far better.

Next week: Pudgy Penguins come to Melbourne