OK, this might be a first world problem – but where has the glamour gone in modern travel? I’m fortunate enough to have the opportunity to travel for work – however, so much of the pleasure has gone out of the experience.

“They promised us cocktail bars…” (image sourced from Australian Business Traveller)

Of course, safety is paramount, and increased surveillance, screening and security checks are to be expected, if not actually welcomed. So we are all accustomed to allowing extra pre-boarding time to clear each stage of the process. It also makes sense, I suppose, that each airport has slightly different requirements – but the need for variety should not be an excuse for inefficient systems, poor directions from airport staff and a lack of clarity on what is expected of passengers.

There’s also the issue of how much actual time to leave to clear pre-boarding – up to two hours or more for some international flights. Then there’s the challenge of being in transit – in recent months, I have found myself on more than one occasion having to run from one terminal to another, even though the airline has assured me there was plenty of time between connecting flights. The implication being, passengers will have to endure even longer stopovers…

It also seems that about 40-45% of flights I have taken over the past couple of years have not departed on time. Sure, things like weather conditions can cause schedules to be impacted, but how many times have you heard the mealy-mouthed announcement: “we apologise for the delayed departure of this flight – this was due to the late arrival of the incoming aircraft.” And the reason the incoming flight was late? Never a mention.

Often, the pilot is able to make up for lost time – which makes you wonder how much “fat” is built into airline schedules? And then so many times the arrival gate is not available, or the air-bridge is not in place, or the passenger steps are not ready…

And as for waiting to collect your luggage off the belt, the usual delay is just another factor contributing to customer frustration. No wonder passengers try to take as much cabin baggage with them as possible – which only adds to the boarding and disembarkation time.

I could look at some of the positives, in things like catering and on-board entertainment. Overall, airline food has become rather more acceptable than my experiences of charter flights in the 70s and 80s; and passenger preferences and dietary requirements are accommodated – that is, where food is available and included in the price of a standard ticket. But at times I’m reminded of the story that the only reason airlines offer meals is to keep passengers in their seats during the flight.

Which is probably why in-flight movies were introduced….  an area where airlines have managed to lift their game, in terms of the variety of content, quality of devices, and personalised, on-demand service.

But have you noticed the trend for travelogues masquerading as in-flight safety videos? Or the comedy routines? Or the big-name stars? No doubt an attempt to gain passenger attention, and get them off their mobile devices for a few minutes. How realistic are these safety films? Rarely are they made to show the exact cabin layout or filmed from the actual passenger perspective. (The films reveal far more generous leg room than most passengers experience.) If you don’t think these pre-take-off instructions are that important (or if you believe that most passengers must already know what to do), consider this: during a recent fatal air accident, mobile phone footage showed so many passengers wearing their oxygen masks incorrectly – despite the number of times they must have sat through the safety screening.

I’ve often thought that before long, with all the safety and other factors, the only way we will be able to travel by air is either naked, or comatose.

Next week: All that jazz!